How to be Successful at Work ALL the Time

If you want to be defined by your successes, then you'd better be willing to be defined by your failures as well.

Too bad you can't pick one without the other.

The funny thing is that while our successes make us cocky, our failures make us wise.

I just lost a deal I've been working on for awhile. Spent many nights warmed by the iridescent glow from my work computer rather than snuggling with hubby. I was under the gun, pressured and...well, energized at the same time.

We all want to be a success at work. Who hasn't ached for the mother of all deals to come along and for it to be yours. To be able to master the negotiation, tie up every loose end, wrap it in a pretty bow and present it to your boss.

It came as a blow to hear that all I had worked for was coming to nothing. After the obligatory nose-blowing and pity party wrapped up, what could I take away from this situation?

Some key things came to mind:
1. Give yourself permission to be sad at the outcome with one caveat...use the emotion to motivate you to learn something from it. Then get over it!
2. Be honest in your assessment. What went wrong with the deal, what worked well?
3. Look for important details that you missed or glossed over that could have either saved time or saved the deal.
4. Remember to thank all the people who worked with you to pull the deal together. Encouragement builds a healthy team.
5. Be gracious in the face of defeat, understanding that you probably learned more with the one deal that got away than from all the others you bagged.
6. Share your key learning's with others who would benefit from hearing your story. Put your pride aside!
5. Take some time away. If the deal has been all-consuming you're probably feeling a little burnt out. Get away for a bit to re-charge.

The sum of who you are cannot be defined exclusively by your failures nor by successes. Rather, it is measured by your character no matter the circumstance.







 

Killing the Dream

Do you have a dream? Do you have something you have been struggling with? Are you holding onto something or someone too tightly and squeezing the life out of it?

I was reading Genesis 22 this morning about Abraham being tested. Read it and then come back...

Can you see it unfold? God didn't ask Abraham to sacrifice his son if he felt like it. God didn't give him option 1 or option 2. He didn't provide promises that it wouldn't hurt or that he was just joking and life would carry on as before.

No. He told him to go and do this terrible thing, kill his son as a sacrifice to God. Abraham was 100 when Sarah had Isaac. 100...that's unbelievable. So Isaac was a miracle child, the glory of his fathers old age, the promise of God fulfilled. And he was going to die.

I have read this story many times but for the first time vs. 14 struck me as probably the most profound of the entire passage.

It says: "So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said 'On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided' ".

What was significant about the mountain? Abraham had to show his willingness by actually taking the items he would need for the sacrifice...wood, fire and Isaac and making the trip. The mountain would be the place of painful sacrifice but also great deliverance and more importantly the avenue for greater blessing.

Just as Abraham is about the bring the knife down on his son God yells at him. STOP! Don't lay a hand on your son!

We all have areas in our lives that we want supreme control over. So this "thing" in your life...has it been a miracle, an answer to years of prayer like Abraham's son Isaac was? Or is it something that you have struggled with and can't move past?

 

We still have the free will to say NO I won't sacrifice this, I won't give it up, I won't lay it down. It's mine and you can't have it Lord! But what did God do on the mountain? He ACKNOWLEDGED Abraham's faith by PROVIDING another sacrifice and BLESSED Abraham and the rest of the world as a result of that faith.

 

Lay down whatever it is in your life that needs to be sacrificed to the Lord. Your hopes, dreams, fears and struggles. God will use that faith as an avenue for great blessing in your life and the lives of those who surround you!

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this passage so please leave me a note in the comments!

 

From the Outhouse to the Penthouse

We just got back from Washington, DC. We won this trip through a fundraising event...it was the mother of all prizes. I never win anything so I  thought I would make a donation to this particular prize pack and be happy for whoever would win it.

Low and behold I won the whole thing! Airfare and accommodation for 2 anywhere in the continental US or Canada. New York here we come!!! Except that when we started looking for flights and hotels we couldn't get any of the dates we wanted.

Our second choice was Washington, DC. I must honestly say, I wasn't very excited about it. Seriously?! Big city with puffed up, arrogant people who think they run the entire country? OK! they do run the entire country. The White House and Capitol Hill...that would be alright but what else would we do all week?

We arrived at the hotel a little stunned...from the lobby we could see Capitol Hill! It was beautiful, we couldn't wait to get out and start exploring. We tried to check in only to find out that the additional nights we had booked couldn't be found anywhere and we had not been given a room with a king bed as we had requested.

Two double beds? You've got to be kidding me! Now, sometimes a double bed might be kind of fun but when you've been on your feet for 12 hours and you're exhausted you end up sounding like your kids did when they were young. Move over! You're touching me! I'm hot! Roll the other way!

There was only one way to resolve the issue, we slept in separate beds. First time in our married lives that we've been in different beds while in the same room, on holiday's, supposed to be having fun. Wow.  I must say, I did sleep well though!

Our first tour was of Capitol Hill which was interesting. You get frisked and scanned at the entrance, bags checked for bombs and other touristy paraphernalia and then you are allowed to enter the sacred halls of the US government.

As we exited the building we had our noses pressed to our map trying to decipher street names and landmarks when all of a sudden this man on a peddle bike stopped right in front of us. He had on a full suit complete with helmet and backpack...interesting.

We chatted with him for over 20 minutes. He gave us a quick history and geography lesson, oriented us to where we were in relation to our map and sent us on our way. Nice person #1 in DC was a Historical Architect.

The National Mall was where we were headed and a wonderland of Smithsonian museums! Somehow hubby tricked me into passing right by the Library of Congress Jefferson Building and not going in with promises that we'd catch it on the way back...we must be going back!!

Rounding the West side of the Capitol building out came the map to double check where we wanted to go. A very large policeman asked us if he could help us. We chatted it up with him, trying to figure out how on earth you would pronounce his name. His badge said "B. Dqqky".

Now, how would you pronounce that? Try to wrap your tongue around it and see what you think. Yup...us too, didn't have a clue. We worked up the courage to ask him what his name was. Big Dqqky (pronounced like dookie). In Canada a dookie means something other than what it must mean in the US...we suddenly became very busy trying to keep a straight face. Nice person #2, our new friend Big Dqqky.

All in all we spent 5 wonderful days in Washington. We saw the Supreme Court, Air and Space Museum, National Gallery of Art, National Museum of Natural History and the National Portrait Gallery. Went to see a Washington Capitals hockey game and also went on a night tour to the White House, Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial, Korean War Monument,Thomas Jefferson Memorial, Lincoln Memorial and others.

We also took a bus trip to Georgetown for dinner along the Potomac River and went to see a movie. Our last day we took another bus into New York city for a day of sightseeing. We packed so much into that week that by the time we were ready to come home I had blisters on my feet and my arches felt like they had fallen.

Oh yes, we also met a priest on our second last day. He was on his way to perform a wedding ceremony and said some very kind words to us. Nice person #3.

During the week the hotel upgraded us to a king-suite for all of our trouble and magically found the other nights we had added to our booking. Our last morning we slept in and went for a late brunch to a great little restaurant before heading home.

We dubbed DC the city of suits. Well, we should add guns to that. Everyone is dressed to the hilt and there are a LOT of police around in full assault gear. Apparently it is illegal for anyone, other than law enforcement, in the federal area of DC to carry firearms or weapons of any kind...you would get a free pass to the state pen for 10 years min. if caught.

Lucky for us we hit the road the afternoon before the entire city came to a standstill with the shut-down. We wonder where that has left our three friends...does the architect have a job, has the policeman had to use his gun and is the priest saying last rites? We pray for a resolution to the deep issues the US is facing right now.

If all else fails, call Big Dqqky...he requested some Tim's coffee which is packaged up and being sent off on Monday. I speak from experience...Tim Horton's has always helped me deal with my deep issues. I say we flood the US with Tim's and avert a national disaster!











 

What NOT to wear!

I pulled over to the side of the road as my phone rang. I knew the number...the big, big boss was calling. Now in my world, you pull over quickly when those kinds of calls come in because when he calls there is a definite reason why. You hope it is something to do with continued employment and not handing in your office door key.

He asked me to be at an important meeting the following morning (phew) that would have far reaching impact for our company and we needed to make the best impression possible.

I was nodding my head and murmuring hmmms and uh hum's in all the right spots but my mind was racing!

WHAT TO WEAR? Notice I wasn't in the least bit concerned with the presentation or what questions we would be fielding...no. Plain and simple. Cut and dried. Black and white.

Most of my clothes had been given away to charity when we moved and my closet was still looking pretty bare. I hadn't had time to go shopping yet and I wasn't in a hurry either. I had put on a few pounds with our recent move and kept thinking I would wait until I felt better about myself.

Are you judging me? How many of you have made deals with yourself not to buy more clothes until you've lost weight? Hands in the air ladies! So with no time to shake 5-10 by the next day I had to bite the bullet and go shopping.

I stepped into a cute little shop and looked around...immediately feeling out of place. Two beautiful people were working in the store, one younger, one my age and both very well dressed and put together.

I had arrived after being out on farm calls all day having had peoples dogs sniffing me up, cats lodging themselves against my legs and grain dust on my face like some sort of facial mask. Pretty, right? I was sure excited to see what the fluorescent lighting would do for me!

The younger gal started pulling items from the racks and telling me to try things on that were definitely not my style. The longer I walked around the sicker I felt.

My aversion to offending people was making an exit strategy hard to find. How fast could I bolt without being rude? She was being so kind and trying to be so helpful but I didn't want to look like stuffed sausage casing underneath a party tent.

I somehow found myself in the fitting room with an armload of clothes that I didn't like and only shreds of my confidence intact. I singled out 2 items that I though might have possibility, a loose, lacy shirt to wear over a camisole and a long sweater with a button enclosure.

I put them both on together, pulling and twisting the shirt to flatten the unsightly lumps it was causing under the sweater. As I came out of the dressing room the older lady gasped. Not a good gasp. More like a horrified sucking in of air so that nothing would come out of her lips.

That looks terrible she finally said. I was close to tears. I wanted to run out of there and never go back but I had this weight on my shoulders called "an important meeting". What to do?

I swallowed my pride and fear and asked her if they had anything that would suit me better. She was off in a flurry, she had a mission and she was determined to help me find something. Now the funny thing is that I am very competent at my job, I have raised a family and have lived a lot of life already...how come I can't dress myself?

Scenes from "What not to Wear" were flashing through my mind and I realized I had been stuck in a clothing-time warp and it was time to unwarp myself. By the time I left the little shop on Main street I was feeling pretty darn good about myself and had some items in-hand that I loved and knew would get worn.

I unloaded my new purchases at home only to spy a business suit in my closet that hadn't had any air time for awhile. THAT would actually be the perfect outfit for the big meeting. I tried it on, praying that I'd be able to do the pants up.

My lessons for the day...
1. It is a woman's prerogative to go shopping for clothes when she has already has perfectly acceptable items in her closet
2. It is ok to shop before you are in some alternate universe where you are a perfect size 4
3. It is ok to have a sales person tell you something looks horrid on you, at least you won't be wasting your money on things that will find a dark corner in your closet and never see the light of day

And the meeting? Smashing success, business suit and all.


























 

The Tale of a Prairie Date Night...

Fall was normally a very stressful time of year for me. It meant that I was mom, dad, cook, dishwasher, clothes washer, chauffer, bill payer, call maker/returner, chore doer, dog feeder, baker, cheerleader, friend, employee, daughter and wife. Hubby was harvesting.

Sometimes I loved all of it and sometimes I hated it depending on how close to the ditch I was as I sped down dusty dirt roads delivering all manner of items to various people and places.

As the years went on my harvest experience changed. No more kids to get to volleyball or hockey practices and games. Less loads of laundry to do and smaller meals meant that I had some time to ride along in the swather or combine. We used that time to catch up on the days events and sit close for some together-time.

Last night I was able to ride with hubby as he combined for some friends. He called me...can you come out for awhile? I got directions to the field and met him.



We are always looking for new date ideas but hands down, this is the best for any farmer...side-by-side in the combine, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, grubbie clothes on with bits of wheat chaff in your hair, the sounds of harvest all around. Yes, it seems to work.



The sun was slowly setting, streaks of golden yellow sunlight punctuated the dust cloud swirling around the combine as it sucked up acres and acres of a near perfect wheat crop.

I watched as hubby unloaded grain into a waiting truck.





...in awe of the bountiful crops
...thankful for new friendships
...senses alive with the sounds of harvest
...keenly atuned to each distinct element of beauty that surrounded me

It seemed that a deep contentment wrapped it's inviting arms around me in a warm hug. "Days like this make me happy to be alive," I said to my love.

He turned to look at me, our eyes locked. "What? I can't hear you!" I laughed...he had heard. And he agreed. It had been a good day.

And we all harvested happily into the night.

The End.

 

Keeping the SPRING in the marriage mattress

Have you ever wondered how some couples do it?  No, not "it" (I think I have that part figured out) but...IT ~ life~ love~ the pursuit of a togetherness that transcends ups and downs, sorrows and joys, pains and happiness's.

True intimacy in marriage starts long before you hit the hay. Guys have often been accused of not getting this, but ladies, I'd say we need a refresher as well.

Here are some ideas to ponder. I did not get them from some scholarly source...they are from my life and as such, have been tried and tested, and then tested again and tried some more!

1. ladies: bring him a bowl of ice-cream, fold his undies just the way he likes, guys: how about a random hug or all the dirty clothes on the closet floor suddenly in the laundry hamper - look for ways to make each other happy but make sure it's something you know the OTHER person will like!

2. tell him how sexy he looks in his coveralls and make sure you let him know that you appreciate how hard he works to provide for his family; how about telling her how much you love and depend on her to keep the family schedule on-track - take every opportunity make positive comments to each other during the day...little things make the biggest impact!

3. mention to your co-workers, friends and family what a great person you are married to - speak publicly with pride about each other

4. listen to the other person's point of view -  make decisions jointly with equal input from both parties

5. surprise your spouse with some together time even if it's only a trip to the dump - be spontaneous (see #11...)

6. when was the last time you gave your spouse that special "look", how about a wink? If it's been too long their quizzical expression will be a clue that you don't do it often enough - flirt with each other

7. when bad days come (and they will) run to each other and not away - lean on each other for support

8. speak well of each others parents and one day you will hear those same words come out of your children's mouths when describing you - honor your mother and father

9. center yourself each morning to the word of God - order your inner world before the craziness of the day starts

10. we realized that it's better not the fight the phenomenon called "mid-life" and chose to leave out the "crisis" part by purchasing a motorbike - share a hobby

11. enjoy your spouses sense of humor...share private jokes - laugh together

12. stand together through times of hurt or despair, listen carefully to the pain and be compassionate - cry together

13. in the heat of the moment DO NOT point fingers and say "you always..." or "you never..." - don't try to one-up each other, no one will win

14. reaffirm how important the other person is, how valuable their presence is in your life - speak words of encouragement into each other's hearts, you might be the only person that does!

15. abandon all others and all else that would divide your heart - love to the fullest

To cap off the day, our marriage bed needs a couple of things...

Purity~ get into bed with a pure heart towards your spouse, no secrets, no lies and having put the best of yourself in front of your spouse all day

Rest~ our beds should be a place to lay our heads down and find true rest.  Make sure the deep issues of life are dealt with before you get into bed or risk the worst sleep and biggest headache ever!

And...yes, the springs might start squeaking...one of the hazards of having a good marriage!

i knew i wanted to be a writer when...

Where to start? Probably with me being scared...yes, that was a good place.

i was scared.  i remember the fear clearly as if it had it's own smell, it's own taste stinging the back of my throat. i looked around trying not to let on how desperate i was. the tin can that was supposed to be an airplane was rattling and lurching with turbulence making my stomach feel queasy.

tears slipped silently down my face. i longed for my mothers soothing touch to comfort me. i ached for my dad to reassure me that i would be OK. i missed my brother's mischievous laugh to distract me from feeling so horribly alone.

our family had arrived in East Africa only a year before, ready to begin church planting and outreach. back in Canada mini skirts and big hair were all the rage for women...not appreciated in Tanzania where it was law that women could not bare their legs in public. our very first day in Tanzania my mom's attire caught the attention of the locals who formed an angry crowd around her and demanded that she be arrested on the spot. thankfully she was saved by some quick thinking friends who whisked her away before anyone could organize an arrest. i was terrified and thrilled all at the same time...a headline played through my mind~ my mom was arrested for wearing a short dress. i was 5, it was not a well crafted headline.

i spent most of that year running around barefoot. we were living in what was called "the little house" with another family in the "big house" across the other side of the yard. we only spoke about the big house in whispers and were not allowed to go over there for reasons that were shrouded in mystery but my brother and i barely had time to care with all of the turtles, snakes, iguana's and scorpions to keep us busy. we scaled coconut trees and chewed on sweet grass, picked up Swahili from the neighbor kids and learned how to cut grass with a panga.

we rode on our 2-wheeler bikes from Canada and fell constantly into the thorn bushes that served as decorative accents to the drab, dirt yard. we spent many hours across mom's lap as she pulled out thorns from our backsides. the time went by in a blur of new smells and exciting experiences.

after that first year at home it was time for me to go away to boarding school. i was heart sick over leaving my family but my current dilemma was what had me crying. i craned my neck this way and that to get a better look at the other passengers in the 8-seater plane, maybe someone would be able to help me. the large man in the aisle seat beside me was snoring loudly and the people across from us had their barf bags in-hand, not a good sign. there was a lady with a baby sitting right at the back but baby was fussy and she was busy trying to soothe it. so i sat as quietly as i could and tried to think...

time, to someone who is 6, means very little. i didn't know how long we had been flying. i didn't know when we would be in Nairobi, i certainly didn't know if we would be stopping before we got to Nairobi for any reason.

a few moments later i realized I had the answer! it was so simple, why had i been worried? it would be perfect and no one would ever know, i wouldn't even have to get out of my seat! i giggled softly as i congratulated myself on being so clever.

suddenly i felt the plane begin its decent...could it be that we were already in Nairobi? there didn't seem to be a city below I remember thinking, but i wasn't concerned. carefully i smoothed my pretty white dress with pink roses over my knees just like my mother had taught me to, I didn't want any wrinkles.

the pilot's voice sounded...ladies and gentleman, i apologize for the turbulence back there, it looks like we're going to touch down for a few minutes to re-fuel and give everyone a chance to use the restroom. please be ready to re-board the aircraft in 30 minutes.

i don't remember anything about our lay-over, all i know is that i was the first one in line to get back on the airplane. i went straight to the back and quickly settled myself in, trying not to look anyone in eye as they filed back on and returned to their own seats. except the lady with the baby, she had been last. her eyes scanned the back of the plane for her seat but when she saw me sitting in it she gave a small shrug and carefully made her way past the large man in the aisle seat and sank down onto my seat.

i couldn't bear to look away, my eyes felt stuck like someone had crazy glued them to the back of her head. ever so slowly she turned around and when her eyes locked onto mine i was struck by how beautiful she was, her eyes liquid black...and...angry. she knew my secret, she would be sitting in a wet seat all the way to Nairobi.

There...with a flourish I finished off the story, ready to send it in to the Children's Institute of Literature. I had seen an ad in the local newspaper and for fun thought I would submit a story from my childhood that I had not told anyone before.

It took me days to finish, polishing it up and editing, trying to find just the right words to accurately describe the events and feelings surrounding that crazy day so long ago.

I became aware as I sent it off in the mail, that the desire to write had always been with me. I wanted to create something beautiful, haunting and tangible with words.
For a living.
For ever.
For me.
For you.

Capsuled Moment

My stomach was full and we were laughing. How on earth had we let ourselves do this, we wondered aloud? Dirty from head to toe we made a spontaneous decision to go out to eat rather than waste precious time cooking at home, and drove to the nearest spot we could find...Kung Pow Chow.

You know the look~ by some unspoken measuring stick we had fallen short of, we were on the receiving end of arched eyebrows and quiet clucking. It had not stopped us from being seated although we noticed that our presence was a source of consternation for the poor waitress who was chosen to wait on us. If she was offended by our dirt (which washes off) then I figured I was okay to be put-off with the pointy things sticking out of her eyebrows and lips which wiggled when she spoke.

Outside on the front step afterwards we relished in the fact that at our age this is what living dangerously had become and held hands, laughing like carefree teenagers.

The noise entered my consciousness without being fully aware that it was there. It crept over me like a slow evaporation of a deep fog that you drive through...one moment unable to see and the next moment shapes becoming clearer and clearer until suddenly everything is visible.

Screaming and crying filled my ears, filled more than my ears...filled my heart with the foreboding of the unloved and abused. A little boy, being dragged along the sidewalk by his mother was pleading for mercy, was crying for help and sobbing like his very heart was being trodden over by her dull, heavy footsteps.

She let go of his twisted arm as we turned and stared but her screaming became louder in an effort to prove her right as his mother to treat him in that manner. We watched them in muted silence, unable and unwilling to turn away as the tirade against this little's one's soul continued and they passed us by.  His terror and fear palpable in the dappled evening shadows made me wonder...what happens when the sun goes down? A tear slipped down my cheek, glittering in the final rays of light.












 

Welcome to Schmidt Street

I have been on a bit of a self-imposed hiatus for 2 months....no words of wisdom, no funny stories, no peeps into my private life allowed. The reason? Well, I have tried very hard to have you all believe that I am a normal person going about my normal life and the reality is that my world has been rocked in the last 2 months and only now have I recovered sufficiently to get back on-line.

Well, where do I begin? How about at the beginning...



 

This was the sum of our last 23 years together...packed into boxes, labelled and loaded. My lifetime of memories had been compacted into a moving truck and I was overcome with a choking realization that things would never be the same.

 

There is something sad about an empty house. No voices ringing out with happy chatter, no fluttering shears on the windows whispering of life~ of love. No kitchen sounds of meals to nourish body and soul and with it the communion of family and friends. I was eager to re-establish my comforts.

 

I know this all sounds horribly depressing...and the truth is, I guess, that's what I was feeling right at that moment. As we drove into Edmonton to stay the night with our daughter and son-in-law, the weight of what had been put into motion filled our hearts with both sorrow and hope. Our kids knew we would need an extra dose of encouragement and upon arrival at their home, presented us with a housewarming gift...a child's DVD and a coloring book.

 

 

WE ARE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!

 

 

The candles burning on our pity-party cake seemed to mock this news and so we snuffed them out and rejoiced in the impending arrival of our very own little grand-tot.

To say things have been easy since that time would be lying. We arrived on our new street unsure of what to expect. We are country folk who stepped into the weird and wild world of townies~ that became clear pretty quickly....

No, you cannot walk around your house in various stages of undress with the curtains open.
No, you cannot flatulate as you bend over to pull weeds in the back yard
No, you cannot put the green bin out on black bin day and vise-versa
No, you cannot drive your quad on the walking trail
No, you cannot park your vehicle along the curb for very long, it has to be on your driveway
No, there is not someone coming to visit every time you hear a vehicle door slamming down the street
No, your new appliances most definitely will not work as the old ones did
No, you are not a visitor...this is your new house

I think we got tired of all the "no's" and decided to try something with a "yes"~

Yes, you can make a difference wherever you are
Yes, you can get to know your neighbors
Yes, you can drive 4 minutes to work
Yes, you can run and pick something up from the store at 10pm
Yes, you can enjoy seeing your yard take shape
Yes, you can learn many, many new things in a short period of time
Yes, you can maintain important friendships through the process of change
Yes, you can open up your world to meeting new people and enrich your life through it
Yes, you can find a new place to worship that will be welcoming and warm
AND...yes, your house will become a HOME as you make new memories.

We thank all of you who have visited. Your presence has transitioned us into this new reality. To those of you who have not come over yet...please stop by, we look forward to connecting with you and sharing our home with you.

We testify to the truth that change will not kill you but being stagnant just might.

Peace~






























 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

My Downright Dirty Celebration

Bittersweet~ indeed that is probably the very best word to describe today...the last day working out of this office. In a little over a week I will find myself still working for the same company but out of a new office, 4 hours drive from where I used to work and live.

I packed up all of my personal items and toted them out to my car, piling everything in as best I could. After a final goodbye, I drove away for the last time as a member of that office team. I struggled to remain composed, a million feelings, thoughts and memories flooded my mind in an instant.

This transition time has been emotionally draining...too many "lasts" and so many "firsts" have left us both feeling wrung out and exhausted. I realized while driving home that I had been holding my breath for this day to be over so I could mentally move on...all of a sudden it had happened and now it was time to celebrate!

I saw this nugget yesterday:
Hello past~ thanks for the lessons
Hello future~ now I'm ready

One small item stood in the way of the celebration I had planned...dump day. Do you know how much junk one family can accumulate over the years? Well, let me tell you that we have several truck loads and have not yet cleaned out every nook and crannie.

Hubby drew the long straw by having other plans this evening so it fell on my shoulders to tackle the dump job and gitter' done. The loaded truck was parked in a large machine shed with sliding double doors that are approx. 18 feet high and almost that wide. The wind had really picked up and as I tried to open one of the doors it swung out and away from the frame, almost ripping off the hinges and bending the metal. I was terrified! If that thing came loose it would crush me like a cockroach, kill me, saw me in half right on the eve of us starting a wonderful new life. I saw the headlines flash before my eyes...

WOMAN CRUSHED UNDER METAL DOOR

DUMP TRIP GONE WRONG ON EVE OF HISTORIC MOVE

Darn if those doors were going to kill me! I spread eagle in order to secure both doors and somehow managed to get one side positioned properly and then wedged an old tire against the other side after I'd opened it far enough, praying that it would hold the door in place. I held on for dear life until there was a lull in the gale-force winds, dashed for the truck and screamed out of there as fast as I could.

After managing to close both doors behind me, I drove away SO very proud of myself for a job well done...and all by my little own self no less! HA! Yesssss, miss all that and more.here I come.to the dump.doin the hard core working chore. Shoulda been a poet...or a gangsta...or maybe a wife and matha.Yah, uh huh.

Pulled into the dump and instantly realized I was way out of my element. Many large trucks bearing large men throwing large things into large bins and...me.  One of these things doesn't belong. Never-the-less, I am no shrinking violet and decided that it would be better to fit in than stand out as some kind of prissy woman. So~ I hauled my little truck into gear and ripped over to an open space and proceeded to astonish myself at the speed and strength I displayed for all those macho men to see. I could tell they were impressed until I realized I was dumping stuff into the wrong containers and was being mildly reprimanded by...well, let's call him Leonard for lack of a better name.

God love him, Leonard (the dump dude in charge) saw right through my smoke screen. He came over quickly in order to divert any damage to myself or the premises and directed me to the right area. We started chatting and all of a sudden he was asking me if he could take some of my items home. Of course, dear Leonard, I said to him, one wo-man's junk is another man's treasure! He was such a sweetheart. Probably 70 years old, grizzled and rough around the edges but a gentleman through and through.

It must have been my pent-up stress but I was loving the whole 'chucking things off the back of my truck and seeing them smash into a million pieces' thing! I felt good, powerful, in charge and suddenly very dirty! The guy beside me was sweeping out his truck box after he was done dumping all of his garbage and I was barraged with a load of fine insulation dust, nails, bits of wood chips and other miscellaneous items that stuck to my sweatshirt and hair. Sometimes I don't pay attention to details and so I had inadvertently parked down wind of him and his debris showered me in a continuous stream until he was done.

I was thrilled to be driving away from the Thursday Vega Dump Day (kinda sounds like a good parade name doesn't it??) and upon arriving home figured I would finish the day off well and throw some items into the incinerator from around the yard. I opened the door of the aforementioned and a gust of wind sent a cloud of fine ash into my face that covered me head to toe. Yup, definitely done for the day.

I was amazed at how bad I looked when I got into the house. My day had started out with me being nicely dressed and smelling pretty only to end up with my ponytail skewed sideways with strands of hair going in all directions and a dirt-streaked face. My pitiful looking clothes covered in grime and dirt rounded out the picture nicely along with a couple busted fingernails and a scratch on my hand.

I laughed at the irony of it all...I had wanted to celebrate this day in some grand style...mark the occasion and savor the moment of one chapter closing in my life and another one opening only to end up at the dump. That's when I realized I actually had celebrated, I had literally purged the old in order to make room for the new.

Hello future~ I think I'm finally ready!!
















 

911...My Life is on Fire!

As many of you know (or heard)(or guessed)(or figured)(didn't care), we are

 

MOVING!

 



It has been a long road of talking about it, thinking on it and trying to decide if it is the right thing. How do we adequately explain this to our friends, family, co-workers and clients?

 

It must be a step up for you in your career, they say...well no, not exactly. You must have something better lined up down there...nooooo. You must know people...not a soul. Are you crazy? Hey~ now you're on to something!

 

Moving sounds so exciting doesn't it? It ranks right up there with fairytales and castles...dreams becoming reality~for some anyway. But then when we start digging under the surface a little we find no glamour in it. Almost as soon as we start thinking about it, we shut it down because we know it will be harder than we ever thought.

 

Unfortunately the shut-down button didn't work for us, no one pulled the plug on the atomic bomb and shouted STOP! WE'RE NOT GOING THROUGH WITH THIS! And so here we are disassembling life as we currently live it, in order to reassemble in another place with other people who we hope we are going to like, and who we hope will like us.

 

 

 



 

 

We have a moving company coming in to pack our life into many boxes. Some they will mark fragile...maybe you were thinking I meant my China. I was thinking more along the lines of all my kids' pictures, paintings and awards. How precious each one of those things are~way more valuable to me than dishes!

 

Some they will mark kitchen/utility...they will hold all of the wonderful memories I have of preparing meals and baking for my beautiful family. The hours spent huddled around the island...surrounded by flour and measuring cups, chocolate chips and cookie dough. Talking about life, building into them the desire to be wonderfully strong yet compassionate people who will change their world.

 

Some will be marked bathroom...hair clips, towells, toiletries all reminiscent of hours spent getting ready to face the world. Some will say "kids' bedroom" and although I should be giving the kids their own things to store, I will take them along as a piece of me that I cannot let go of.

 

Clothing will have already been sorted through as I don't want any moving company to see the range of sizes I carry in my closet. Don't worry...no granny panties! They sold for a good price at the garage sale. KIDDING! I gave them away. KIDDING! I burnt the lot which I am now kicking myself for, they might have come in handy as temporary shelter until we get into our new place.

 

All joking aside, moving is hard work in every sense of the word. Not everyone is happy for you which steals a bit of the joy. It's painful to go through the memories of life you have saved and loving stored in order to decide what stays and what goes. You feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest when you think about the meaningful friendships that you've nurtured. So in answer to the question:

 

 

WHY?

 

 

Here it goes..

 

We are alight with the passion of new discovery and adventure. We long to break out of the ritualistic monotony that seems to have pervaded our lives. We want to stretch and grow, meet new people, build into lives that are lonely and lost and broken. We hold by the disciplines that we raised our family with...FAITH, LOVE, HOPE, not getting stuck but being willing to step out and try new things. All of the great people we have in our lives right now stemmed from a conscious decision we made many years ago to follow God's leading and our own hearts to take on the world.

 

Kevin and I have made a pact. What have we agreed to? Simplicity. True Friendship. Togetherness. Adventure. Deep Love. Spiritual Growth. Lives Lived Well.

 

It all sounds good until we meltdown. When that happens (and it's bound to at some point along the way), please remind us why we are doing this, hug us and tell us you love us. Please pick us back up again and dust us off. Send us on our way with a good, swift kick up the rear and a hearty wave... 

We love you and thank you for building into our lives!

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Bye Bye Baby...ready for a spring fling

The winter does not want to let go. It has it's gnarly, cold fingers firmly grasped around each tree and perennial, every fencepost and blade of grass.  I am tired of the death around me...tired of the hibernation, the layers of clothes and jackets, mitts and toques. Tired of the dormancy and dirty snow.

I know we are supposed to appreciate the changing seasons but sometimes it's hard to get happy about cold temps and high windchill. I grew up in Africa where there were only 2 seasons~ dry season and rainy season. I loved it! Either it was hot or it was hot with a cool-down in the evening or early morning when it rained.

The other day I was meditating on the struggle Kevin and I have been through this last while. A year ago we made some life changing decisions and were plunged into a personal winter. The choices we made were our own and we gladly made them at the time...never realizing what would follow, or the far reaching impact those decisions would have on us.

Layers covered us with names like:

Cold~ lonely~ despair~ longing~ anger~ relief~ remorse~ joy~ anticipation~ regret~ solitude~ faith~ resolve~ determination~ friendship~ isolation~ suffocation~ fear~ excitement~ truth~ lies~ hope~



It occurred to me that this past year was teaching us about being patient more than anything else. Winter asks us the questions...can you see beauty in bareness? Can you be happy in the cold? Can you be productive and on "purpose" during dormancy? Can you find hope through desolation? Will you choose joy although in pain? Will you live by faith knowing that better days are coming? Will you turn your face towards the sun even if you can't feel any warmth?

There is a season for everything is there not? There is a time for winter...and there's a time for spring. A time to stay...and a time to move.

 

 

Bye bye winter! We're movin' on...

 

Funky Junk and other stinky stuff

I spent a lot of time preparing for this moment. Mentally I had to wrap my head around it first, then I had to come up with an elimination plan that I could execute without curling up in a corner somewhere crying my eyes out. I have a tough time letting go of things.

It always takes me a little while to "process" after I've come home from a trip. It seems like when I travel I tend to record events rather than feelings or intuitions...those pop up later. I fill my journal with the day to day goings on in vivid detail so that it stays fresh in my mind.

Upon return, my daily routine kicks back in and I lose the connectedness to the individual events but somehow become entwined in the subtle emotional response I had to each of those events while they were taking place. Interesting...like the heavy stuff (basic fact) goes to the bottom and the light, airy, whimsical things (perceptions) float to the top.

The heavy stuff ~ it is hot in El Salvador, it is dusty, it is humid, wonderful fresh fruit and great food, the people are stunningly beautiful, there is a visible wall between the rich and poor, Spanish speaking, basic housing.

Whimsical stuff~ people are happy even though they have very little, generosity is a given, they love the expression of beauty, I have so much and yet complain, my life is complicated and I long for simplicity, creativity is squashed when every spare moment has been clogged with events.

So here I am today. Arming myself to do something in response to the whimsy. I am a bit of a clutter bug and I mean that in every sense of the word, literally and metaphorically. I tend to fill corners of my life with stuff that either I don't know what to do with at that moment or simply don't feel like dealing with at the time.

All the junk that has accumulated in my life has been an anchor thrown into the sea, securing me to ONE spot and holding me captive. I really had to think it through when I got back...what have I cluttered my life with that has chained me?

It's like the garbage...if you never take it out and change the bag, eventually it would start to stink and things would rot inside of it. What have I been plugging my nose over in my life? Too busy, too much stuff, too stressed, too concerned with what others think of me, to name a few. How do I fix it?
Start with the storage room...











 

Focused on Distractions

The time has come and gone quickly for us in El Salvador. We completed our last day of hard core work yesterday and today we will be worshiping with local believers in the Corinto church. I am excited about that...I always enjoy feeling the presence of God in foreign places because when you can't rely on language to be a conduit to God, you get to feel it through the people instead. (Haha, loving my electrical reference)

The plan when we came was to wire the church at a place called Hacienda as well as 3 classrooms and a large storage room. Then to move onto 2 houses up the hill from the church and after that to move onto 2 more houses in Corinto.

The PLAN didn't materialize as expected and so we did everything but the 2 houses in Corinto. When I say 'hard core work" I wasn't joking! The last two days have been almost more than my uncalloused little hands could take! I am not used to physical labor 10 hours a day, no...I'm more used to sitting on my rear end making nice with a computer keyboard, getting up once in awhile to grab a coffee or some printing.

Climbing up and down ladders, pulling large bundles of wire around twisted poly something or other and pounding holes in the lava rock ground for power poles is a little different and definitely more arduous than my normal routine.

The last two days have been especially long, the end was in sight and a certain amount of work had to be finished before we wrapped things up for good. Yesterday we were at the work site at 7:30am and started working immediately. By 9:30am I was thinking we would be able to take a siesta in the afternoon because things were moving along so well. By noon we realized that if we finished with the sun still in the sky it would be a miracle. By 7:30pm we were loading up and pulling out.

One thing that has happened to me is that I MIGHT have conquered my  fear of ladders. I have been afraid of ladders for as long as I can remember. I'm not okay with wobbly, shaking, unstable things that you have to rely on for personal safety...and that includes skates, ski's etc. So in order not to look like the biggest wimp in the universe I had to suck it up and act like I was okay being hundreds of feet in the air. Okay okay, I know I'm exaggerating but when you're afraid of something, that's what it feels like~everything gets distorted in your mind.

Biggest fear on a ladder? Well only one thing of course...that you will fall off. Second biggest fear on a ladder? That someone will see that you are scared on the ladder and you will be relegated to the ranks of "spare wire piece picker-upper from the ground" person. Not me, uh uh. I'm no sissy woman.

That untried confidence was quickly put to the test. There is actually no better motivator in the world than someone talking to you like you CAN do it, so when our fearless leader Maestro Martin asked me to climb up a ladder and help him pull wire I jumped right on that thing. I was able to blame the instantaneous rush of sweat gland action on the heat, but between us...I was in a fear zone that I hadn't entered for awhile. As any of you wonderful people who use ladders for a living know, when your hands are sweaty you can't hold on very well.

Martin is a Master Electrician. All he did was give me directions and I scurried around to do his bidding. We were on the east wall of the church building early in the week and someone had to take his ladder so he was crouched up against the metal frame of the roof and I was along the same wall but farther down. I had a sturdy ladder which gave me a certain level of comfort but we were pulling large bundles of wire through a tough spot and really had to yank hard. We eventually gave up and decided to use a lead wire which the team affectionately called the fish thingy.

A lead wire has a small hook on the end and it gets threaded through the conduit to the outlet you want to the wire to go to. The person at the outlet hooks the wire to the hook in the lead and the person at the other end pulls. Well Martin and I had this song and dance going on with the lead wire. I am at the outlet end and had finished attaching the wire we want pulled and Martin starts to pull. Because it was a tough spot, Martin starting pulling very hard and the lead went so fast that it hooked itself to my bra and started lifting me from the ladder! My frantic screams seemed to attract enough attention that people joined in the screaming and Martin finally stopped pulling. Disaster averted!

By yesterday I was feeling quite good about my high-rise capabilities and was put to the test again. Late in the day we were hot, tired, very dirty and some of us bleeding...I had a small run-in with a barbed wire fence. Anyway, a couple of us set a smaller ladder up outside house #2 to finish up the exterior light. I quickly climbed up and was being passed all the appropriate tools when the earth started to move under my feet.

Suddenly everything slowwwwed downnnnnn. No sound. Only tools flying by my head and a sick feeling in my stomach as I rode the ladder down. My guardian angel was right beside me because I stepped backwards onto the next rung as the ladder was falling and not forward. If I had stepped forward I would have broken my foot for sure when the ladder hit the ground. Sound erupted in an almighty crash as the ladder hit the cement pad. No worse for wear, I am thankful to God for protection!

The interesting thing about all of this is that I chuckled all week to myself about the bra incident and it took my mind off of the fear. Each time I climbed up another ladder I would smile and it kept me from being afraid of the height I was at. It became a good distraction that moved me forward with the work without getting too uptight. It actually allowed me to fall off a ladder and get right back up on it again without flinching. I guess focusing on distractions isn't always a bad thing and wearing quality undergarments is now mandtory.













 

Out of the Mouth of Teenagers~Wisdom

I am sitting in a wonderful house just outside the city of San Salvador in an area called Corinto, El Salvador. The birds are singing and it’s already 30 C outside at 7:30 in the morning…definitely not complaining about that.  My daughter Alana and I are here with a group of people to help with a building project, and anyone that knows me is probably laughing right now because of my serious lack of skill in that area.

There are 11 of us in this group from Canada and we have been billeted out to 3 local families to stay with. What a wonderful experience this is, to eat, sleep and talk with people and absorb their culture. Alana and I are staying with Pastor Damian, Rosita and their daughter Marcella. They know some English and our pidgin Spanish mixed with a comical use of sign language allows us to communicate quite well. Damian loves music and has guitars from all over the world, Rosita is a wonderful woman and fabulous cook. Marcella is a beautiful young lady who is going to university to become a Kindergarten teacher. We are blessed to be here!

Ah the food…both Alana and I were hoping to come back smaller than we left but alas that might not be possible! We are being fed too well! The first night we had paposas which are tortillas with cheese/beans/chicken in the middle, fried and comes with a spicy tomato dipping sauce. WOW! The second night we had tamales. They were beautifully prepared…the tamale is prepared and wrapped up in plantain leaves and baked. When they are served the middle of the plantain leaves are sliced open exposing the tamale inside to scoop out and eat. They were not only tasty but beautiful too! Each night has been a showcase of Rosita’s good cooking, we are happy and unfortunately growing rather than shrinking. 

 We established a routine pretty quickly; usually the missionary Ron Lapka comes to pick us up from our various locations by 8am. We pile into a couple of pickup trucks, the younger crowd riding in the boxes hanging on for dear life. The road up to the project has recently been improved and is no wider than the vehicle and constructed of flat rock embedded in the ground, uneven and torn out in some spots. As we drive we are as close to being vertical in some areas as I care to be in a vehicle, made a little more hazardous by the rocking and rolling over the rutted road.

Each person on the team brings something different to the mix and it has been interesting getting to know new people and working with them. There is one young man named Cody. We met up with him in Edmonton and travelled out together. We were sitting in the Edmonton airport watching him consume 2 Red Bulls and 3 cans of Coke when all of a sudden his head hit the table with a THUD! We were terrified, well I was terrified, that he’d killed himself with caffeine overload. Just as suddenly as his head went down it came back up again and he was laughing…we weren’t. We started asking him some questions and found out that he was carrying 6 epi-pens. Ah ha, WHY? I’m sure you can picture my eyes wide and a shocked/scared expression complete with highly arched eyebrows. So, our friend Cody is allergic to everything…grass, dust, fruit etc. We asked if he’d told anyone…nope was his answer, he was going to, but forgot. Crap…

My motherly instincts kicked in upon arrival and I started watching out for Cody and so did my friend Tina. The issue with watching out for Cody was that he was a moving target. He never stayed still for long and certainly wasn’t always doing what we thought he should be doing.  We were constantly calling is name and finding him up some tree with kids, or playing Frisbee with kids, or trying to communicate with some kids with crazy hand gesturing…you get the picture.  Interestingly enough he would pop up in unusual places and work really hard and be incredibly productive only to race off again with a pack of kids surrounding him. Tina was talking to him the other day and out of the mouth of this 18 year old young man came a profound statement.

One day all you will be is a memory, make sure it’s a good one

I appreciate our Cody Lee for the great job he is doing on site, but more than that I am proud of him for being someone who will have left some great memories behind when he leaves this place. Thanks Cody for reminding me that there’s WAY more to life than just ticking items off my to-do list….even here in El Salvador!

Kicking MR BIG in the can!

Have you ever noticed how much energy we put into "going big"? Everywhere we turn we are bombarded by slogans, motto's, company targets and personal admonishments to reach higher and go harder, work longer, get more, do better. The competitive nature of all of those things seems to become a wedge between people rather than a glue.

Maybe it's the unique time of life I currently find myself in or maybe it's the small little Rhonda voice in my head but one day I decided~ enough.

I am, by nature, a "go big" kind of girl. The very first petit point project I decided to tackle was not some little 4 x 4 square starter...I bought a $120 kit of Blue Boy (back in the mid 80's that was serious dough) and decided I was going to learn how to do this. It was roughly 11 x 15 and it took me a LONG time, mainly because I had no idea how to petit point and had to teach myself how~ before the days of you tube tutorials!

I didn't stop there. A number of years later I decided I was also going to teach myself how to knit and rather than start with a scarf I figured I'd do a sweater. One sweater turned into 2, kind of a his~n~hers combo which hubby hated (never was sure why he didn't like the matchy matchy thing) so I sold them to a specialty shop in Jasper. I had to turn down an offer from them to stock their store because the sweaters sold so fast. I seriously considered buying a knitting machine (yes indeed) and setting up shop as knitter extraordinaire but decided life was way too full of interesting things to get stuck kicking out wool garments for the perpetually chilled.

I've taken a run at canning...that got kind of explosive. I learned a valuable lesson in taking my time, not rushing, not throwing cold jars of beautiful peaches into a canner that had been heated with a blow torch.  Shards of glass, peaches and contorted canners are not so fun to clean up and the sound of things blowing up can be quite upsetting. Yes, upsetting would be the proper word to use...ahem.

Over time my ideas seemed to get more adventurous and climbing mountains became a passion. I loved the thrill of training for the climb, going to exotic locales and doing something physically challenging. I wanted to push myself to see if I could accomplish what I set out to do.

Those are examples of personal pursuits but I have also tried to go big in my professional life and one day I just stopped and wondered what it was all supposed to mean...what is it truly about?

I was mulling over an idea...what if I decided to go small instead of big for awhile. What would that look like? What would my daily choices be if I wanted to make a difference and do meaningful things in a small way? Rather than being eaten up by the frenzy of more, better, bigger, longer, higher...

how about quietly

how about softly

how about slowly

how about with intent

how about so small no one would notice 

 



The fact of the matter is that I can't un-crazy myself, as much as I would like to. I will still try all sorts of wacky things and push myself, all I can hope for is that I don't hurt myself in the process. I guess the great thing about going small is that I can do that every single day without buying a plane ticket, training or learning a new skill.

 

Write a note to someone who needs encouragement, smile, help an elderly person across the street, treat the love of my life with respect, share a laugh with a friend, buy flowers for someone who is having a rough day, act with integrity and honesty even when no one is looking. All of those things (and more) have such incredible value but sometimes we neglect the small because the big things scream for our attention.

 

How about a new catch phrase for 2013...

 



 

 

~go small or go home~

 





I like it.





 

PeRimEnoPauSe and other curses

Ok, so I'd been having a few "issues" which was why I was sitting in the doctor's office that day. A couple of weeks before I had called their office to book the appointment and was able to talk to someone trying to be very helpful.

"What's your name dear", she asked me.
"Rhonda."
"What can we do for you today?" she inquired.
"I need to see my doctor as soon as possible" I replied.
"Is it something urgent because you can go to emergency dear and someone will help you right away."
"No, it's not urgent, I'm just having some issues..."
"What kind of issues dear, and could you speak up, this waiting room is crowded with people and I'm having trouble hearing you."

When I arrived at the doctors office the sweet lady who had taken my information over the phone leaned over the desk conspiratorially and said in the loudest whisper I'd ever heard..."are you the one who's here because of your 'lady issues?' ".  Suddenly the waiting room went silent as I told her yup, that'd be me and slunk into the nearest chair.

Humiliation..I live in a VERY small town and I was sure this tidbit was going to provide fodder for the coffee shop crowd for many a long winter day to come. I could hear them now, placing bets on whether it was the plumbing, electrical or mechanical failure I was in to see the doctor about, maybe all three! I counted myself lucky that most of the ones in the waiting room that day had been born before the computer age and probably didn't know how to tweet, text, BBM or FB or the story would have gone viral.

After being poked and prodded this was the diagnosis: PERIMENOPAUSE

Perimenopause: What the Doctor said:
     - you are experiencing some changes to your body which could
       lead to 5-10 lbs of weight gain
     - your monthly cycles could become erratic as you get closer to
       menopause when they will cease entirely
     - there is a possibility that you could have some occasional night
       sweats and/or hot flashes
     - sleep patterns might change somewhat
     - there has been some reports of mood swings
     - but, not to worry, this is very normal and could last for up to 10 years
       with minor symptoms

Perimenopause: What I heard the Doctor say:
     - soon you won't be able to recognize your own body, you will blow up
       like the Goodyear Blimp
     - your cycles will control your life, you will be forced to map out routes
       relevant to the proximity of bathrooms and back alleys
     - dig out the plastic mattress cover you used on your kids' beds while
       potty training, you'll need it to protect your mattress for the torrential
       pouring of sweat every night
     - you'll want to argue with hubby about everything and somehow during
       the argument you will suddenly switch sides and start arguing the
       other point of view, crying and shocked that he would dare say that he
       doesn't understand you
      - you'll be lucky to get a couple of hours of sleep at night and just an 
       FYI~ sleeplessness is a leading cause of wanting to kill your  husband   
       as you hear his rhythmic, slow breathing beside you, not sweating,
       breathing.slowly.rhythmically~ I AM GOING NUTS!

Perimenopause: The Truth
     - it just sucks being a woman sometimes
     - I took up jogging to combat the weight gain but all that jumping up and
       down did for me was fluff things up even more
     - night sweats...check   hot flashes...check   disturbed sleep...check  
     - murderous thoughts and curses...check check check

Perimenopause: The Bright Side
     - I'm 3 years into the 10, seven more years to endure feeling like a
        stranger in my own body and then what?
     - menopause, full blown symptoms which would imply that what I am
       currently going through is only half of what I am about to endure

Lord help me, I might hurt someone if this gets worse and I'd like it to be the doctor who told me that this would be minor rough patch in my life. In all reality I will probably just hurt myself...rushing to find a bathroom while pulling off my sweater due to a sudden hot flash, tripping over my shoelaces that I couldn't tie due to an enlarged mid-section that I can't see from the streams of sweat running down my forehead and into my eyes. Oh joy!