Have you ever wondered how some couples do it? No, not "it" (I think I have that part figured out) but...IT ~ life~ love~ the pursuit of a togetherness that transcends ups and downs, sorrows and joys, pains and happiness's.
True intimacy in marriage starts long before you hit the hay. Guys have often been accused of not getting this, but ladies, I'd say we need a refresher as well.
Here are some ideas to ponder. I did not get them from some scholarly source...they are from my life and as such, have been tried and tested, and then tested again and tried some more!
1. ladies: bring him a bowl of ice-cream, fold his undies just the way he likes, guys: how about a random hug or all the dirty clothes on the closet floor suddenly in the laundry hamper - look for ways to make each other happy but make sure it's something you know the OTHER person will like!
2. tell him how sexy he looks in his coveralls and make sure you let him know that you appreciate how hard he works to provide for his family; how about telling her how much you love and depend on her to keep the family schedule on-track - take every opportunity make positive comments to each other during the day...little things make the biggest impact!
3. mention to your co-workers, friends and family what a great person you are married to - speak publicly with pride about each other
4. listen to the other person's point of view - make decisions jointly with equal input from both parties
5. surprise your spouse with some together time even if it's only a trip to the dump - be spontaneous (see #11...)
6. when was the last time you gave your spouse that special "look", how about a wink? If it's been too long their quizzical expression will be a clue that you don't do it often enough - flirt with each other
7. when bad days come (and they will) run to each other and not away - lean on each other for support
8. speak well of each others parents and one day you will hear those same words come out of your children's mouths when describing you - honor your mother and father
9. center yourself each morning to the word of God - order your inner world before the craziness of the day starts
10. we realized that it's better not the fight the phenomenon called "mid-life" and chose to leave out the "crisis" part by purchasing a motorbike - share a hobby
11. enjoy your spouses sense of humor...share private jokes - laugh together
12. stand together through times of hurt or despair, listen carefully to the pain and be compassionate - cry together
13. in the heat of the moment DO NOT point fingers and say "you always..." or "you never..." - don't try to one-up each other, no one will win
14. reaffirm how important the other person is, how valuable their presence is in your life - speak words of encouragement into each other's hearts, you might be the only person that does!
15. abandon all others and all else that would divide your heart - love to the fullest
To cap off the day, our marriage bed needs a couple of things...
Purity~ get into bed with a pure heart towards your spouse, no secrets, no lies and having put the best of yourself in front of your spouse all day
Rest~ our beds should be a place to lay our heads down and find true rest. Make sure the deep issues of life are dealt with before you get into bed or risk the worst sleep and biggest headache ever!
And...yes, the springs might start squeaking...one of the hazards of having a good marriage!
True intimacy in marriage starts long before you hit the hay. Guys have often been accused of not getting this, but ladies, I'd say we need a refresher as well.
Here are some ideas to ponder. I did not get them from some scholarly source...they are from my life and as such, have been tried and tested, and then tested again and tried some more!
1. ladies: bring him a bowl of ice-cream, fold his undies just the way he likes, guys: how about a random hug or all the dirty clothes on the closet floor suddenly in the laundry hamper - look for ways to make each other happy but make sure it's something you know the OTHER person will like!
2. tell him how sexy he looks in his coveralls and make sure you let him know that you appreciate how hard he works to provide for his family; how about telling her how much you love and depend on her to keep the family schedule on-track - take every opportunity make positive comments to each other during the day...little things make the biggest impact!
3. mention to your co-workers, friends and family what a great person you are married to - speak publicly with pride about each other
4. listen to the other person's point of view - make decisions jointly with equal input from both parties
5. surprise your spouse with some together time even if it's only a trip to the dump - be spontaneous (see #11...)
6. when was the last time you gave your spouse that special "look", how about a wink? If it's been too long their quizzical expression will be a clue that you don't do it often enough - flirt with each other
7. when bad days come (and they will) run to each other and not away - lean on each other for support
8. speak well of each others parents and one day you will hear those same words come out of your children's mouths when describing you - honor your mother and father
9. center yourself each morning to the word of God - order your inner world before the craziness of the day starts
10. we realized that it's better not the fight the phenomenon called "mid-life" and chose to leave out the "crisis" part by purchasing a motorbike - share a hobby
11. enjoy your spouses sense of humor...share private jokes - laugh together
12. stand together through times of hurt or despair, listen carefully to the pain and be compassionate - cry together
13. in the heat of the moment DO NOT point fingers and say "you always..." or "you never..." - don't try to one-up each other, no one will win
14. reaffirm how important the other person is, how valuable their presence is in your life - speak words of encouragement into each other's hearts, you might be the only person that does!
15. abandon all others and all else that would divide your heart - love to the fullest
To cap off the day, our marriage bed needs a couple of things...
Purity~ get into bed with a pure heart towards your spouse, no secrets, no lies and having put the best of yourself in front of your spouse all day
Rest~ our beds should be a place to lay our heads down and find true rest. Make sure the deep issues of life are dealt with before you get into bed or risk the worst sleep and biggest headache ever!
And...yes, the springs might start squeaking...one of the hazards of having a good marriage!
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