Bye Bye Baby...ready for a spring fling

The winter does not want to let go. It has it's gnarly, cold fingers firmly grasped around each tree and perennial, every fencepost and blade of grass.  I am tired of the death around me...tired of the hibernation, the layers of clothes and jackets, mitts and toques. Tired of the dormancy and dirty snow.

I know we are supposed to appreciate the changing seasons but sometimes it's hard to get happy about cold temps and high windchill. I grew up in Africa where there were only 2 seasons~ dry season and rainy season. I loved it! Either it was hot or it was hot with a cool-down in the evening or early morning when it rained.

The other day I was meditating on the struggle Kevin and I have been through this last while. A year ago we made some life changing decisions and were plunged into a personal winter. The choices we made were our own and we gladly made them at the time...never realizing what would follow, or the far reaching impact those decisions would have on us.

Layers covered us with names like:

Cold~ lonely~ despair~ longing~ anger~ relief~ remorse~ joy~ anticipation~ regret~ solitude~ faith~ resolve~ determination~ friendship~ isolation~ suffocation~ fear~ excitement~ truth~ lies~ hope~



It occurred to me that this past year was teaching us about being patient more than anything else. Winter asks us the questions...can you see beauty in bareness? Can you be happy in the cold? Can you be productive and on "purpose" during dormancy? Can you find hope through desolation? Will you choose joy although in pain? Will you live by faith knowing that better days are coming? Will you turn your face towards the sun even if you can't feel any warmth?

There is a season for everything is there not? There is a time for winter...and there's a time for spring. A time to stay...and a time to move.

 

 

Bye bye winter! We're movin' on...

 

Funky Junk and other stinky stuff

I spent a lot of time preparing for this moment. Mentally I had to wrap my head around it first, then I had to come up with an elimination plan that I could execute without curling up in a corner somewhere crying my eyes out. I have a tough time letting go of things.

It always takes me a little while to "process" after I've come home from a trip. It seems like when I travel I tend to record events rather than feelings or intuitions...those pop up later. I fill my journal with the day to day goings on in vivid detail so that it stays fresh in my mind.

Upon return, my daily routine kicks back in and I lose the connectedness to the individual events but somehow become entwined in the subtle emotional response I had to each of those events while they were taking place. Interesting...like the heavy stuff (basic fact) goes to the bottom and the light, airy, whimsical things (perceptions) float to the top.

The heavy stuff ~ it is hot in El Salvador, it is dusty, it is humid, wonderful fresh fruit and great food, the people are stunningly beautiful, there is a visible wall between the rich and poor, Spanish speaking, basic housing.

Whimsical stuff~ people are happy even though they have very little, generosity is a given, they love the expression of beauty, I have so much and yet complain, my life is complicated and I long for simplicity, creativity is squashed when every spare moment has been clogged with events.

So here I am today. Arming myself to do something in response to the whimsy. I am a bit of a clutter bug and I mean that in every sense of the word, literally and metaphorically. I tend to fill corners of my life with stuff that either I don't know what to do with at that moment or simply don't feel like dealing with at the time.

All the junk that has accumulated in my life has been an anchor thrown into the sea, securing me to ONE spot and holding me captive. I really had to think it through when I got back...what have I cluttered my life with that has chained me?

It's like the garbage...if you never take it out and change the bag, eventually it would start to stink and things would rot inside of it. What have I been plugging my nose over in my life? Too busy, too much stuff, too stressed, too concerned with what others think of me, to name a few. How do I fix it?
Start with the storage room...