Let's get naked!

CAUTION...

The following is intended

to make you lose your layers~

I was 10.  It was a warm day, the sultry air was barely moving as sweat dripped down my face and neck.  I had constructed a paper fan thinking it would bring some measure of relief but was disappointed when the humidity softened it until it hung limply in my hand.  

My brother languished beside me on the back steps of our house, usually we were pestering each other but all we'd had energy to do was eat popsicles and let our dog lick the sticks clean.  What on earth could we do for some fun that would make this heat bearable?  My mom had the perfect idea, we were going swimming to the Greek pool!

You might be asking...what is a Greek pool?  It's not a "what", it's a "where".  I grew up in Arusha, Tanzania in East Africa and on the outskirts of town there was a Greek school that had a pool which non-Greek people were allowed to use occasionally.  It was a long drive from home but we excitedly got our swimming suits on, grabbed extra clothes and towells and headed out. 

The school compound was encompassed within a high cement wall and had a large gated entrance.  I held my breath to see if someone had left us a key so we could get in, only to realize that we were not the only one's there!  Some other friends had had the same idea and were already parked down by the pool, their mom's dropping them off with promises to return in a couple of hours.

Excitedly my brother and I waved as my mom drove away, nothing could be better than swimming for the afternoon in the outdoor pool with our friends!  We jumped in, doing cannonballs and splashing each other with reckless abandon, screaming and laughing at each other's antics.  As with all kids...things seemed to get sillier and sillier as the afternoon progressed. 

Honestly I don't remember whose idea it was at first, all I know is that we all loved it and giggled uncontrollably at the delicious thoughts...this was going to be FUN!  There were six of us in an Olympic sized pool and so we figured there wouldn't be a problem!  The plan was to swim to the outer edges of the pool, each of us as far apart as possible to avoid any unpleasant circumstances...count to three and let 'er rip. 

So, we all did as agreed. ONE, TWO, THREE~thwump...six sets of bathing suits went flying in the air and landed on the hot cement pool deck far out of reach.  We laughed and giggled and swam in very small circles, careful not to get too close to anyone else in case they could see us in all of our childhood glory.  I loved the feeling of freedom, the water was cool against my skin and there were no barriers to weigh me down. 

It was at that point that we realized we had a small problem.  Our bathing suits were beyond reach and our mothers would be returning soon~what were we going to do?  No one wanted to be first out of the water and being the brave sister that I am promptly nominated my brother, who just as promptly told me to take a hike and so we were at an impasse.  All of a sudden we heard a vehicle coming down the road and held our breath, eyes wide with the terror that only children being very naughty could understand.  We needed a plan! 

Desperation has a way of helping us become creative and so on the count of three we decided to turn around towards the pool edge and jump out~ NO PEEKING~run for our suits and pull them on before our mamma's got there.  ONE~TWO~THREE out we went, streaking buck naked for our suits, pulling, tugging and almost ripping them in an effort to get them on before anyone else was done and had turned back around.

I have never skinny-dipped since that day but I have also never forgotten what it felt like to be that free.

Rather than freedom I have had fear.  I don't remember a time when I was absolutely free of the tentacled hold fear has had over my life.  When I was young I suffered from re-occurring nightmares that would leave me sweat soaked and terrorized.  As I got older those fears morphed into sophisticated patterns of denial (insecurities) which I grew adept at manipulating so that others would never know how crippled I was on the inside.  The funny thing was, in my efforts to have people think that I had it all together I built a wall around my heart that left me desperately lonely.

In high school I wrote a poem that perfectly captured the essence of what I was feeling...

all alone

and

nowhere

drifting away

ever so softly

to a place

where again I'll be

all alone

and

lonely



My fears became like layers and layers of clothing that began to stifle and choke me.  Insecurity shrouded the essence of ME as I tried to protect myself from being hurt.

To say that I have all of my fears dealt with at this point would be a lie.  I guess what I have learned over time is that I must find the truth and rely on God's viewpoint to be my compass and guide.  Part of that is removing the layers that I have added in my life for protection and facing my fears head-on.

So I challenge you today to get naked!  Be courageous and intentional in removing the layers of fear and insecurity that have bound you.  I named this blog "fearless...the anthology" because I wanted to hear the thwump again and feel the freedom.  If I can do it you can too so ONE~TWO~THREE...let's go!